Patrick Saint

St. Patrick, 5th century

Dr. Saint was a respectable young seminarian who began to think a little in social settings, but one think led to another and he eventually developed a thinking problem which got the better of him. To support his habit, he committed petty thought crimes, but the desire to think was never fully satisfied and he sunk deeper and deeper until he hit bottom and became a helpless, hopeless, college professor.

His life of thought crime finally caught up with him. He was apprehended, convicted, and sentenced to a long term of bootlicking, but made his escape by walking out of the university backward (thereby tricking them into believing he was actually walking in).

Now a fugitive from social justice, he eludes the thought police by traveling across America in a nondescript cargo van, never staying in one town for more than four days, and uploading podcasts and blog posts on Sunday afternoons while parked behind the dumpster at the local Chick-fil-A, using the free wi-fi.

And he still thinks heavily when finances allow it.

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